Beware…..Vampires on the Road ahead!!!

As we grow older and really pay more attention to people around us, most of us become very good at discovering who takes our away. We want to live to the fullest and absorb what is around us, so who can give us energy becomes very important. On the other hand, those who take it away are the ones we should be aware of because they come in different guises. Identifying them is going to save us so much heartache.

In the modern parlance, they are called : Energy Vampires. They literally suck the energy out of us. They exhaust us beyond words and can complicate our lives in many ways. Not only emotionally, but some times they can embroil you in their web and cause all sorts of problems in your life. We must be careful since they are everywhere, of how we deal with them.

Usually they are very charismatic, charming. Since they are convinced that everything is about them, they see everything from their perspective. We all know one or two: they flatter you, make you believe they value your opinion just to draw you into their scheme. Unfortunately, if we are not careful, they succeed. It’s human nature to accept flattery as our due. The ones that do, are in for some troubled times.

Having no sense of responsibility, they can walk away and you might end up being blamed for what they did. Depending on the situation, this can mean just a temporary inconvenience or a long term struggle. Let’s wise up to theseVampires, in the long run they are worse than the fictional ones.

Rely on your gut feeling, if someone suddenly becomes friendly, becomes closer. If there are visits and invitations and phone calls, if your opinion is suddenly sought and praised, bells should ring in your head. If someone just leaves you exhausted after spending a few hours with them, someone demands more attention you are willing to give or drives you crazy with questions about subjects you do not discuss but with really close friends, run for the hills. You have encounter an Energy Vampire!!!

Remember, now is our time. There is no reason for anyone to accept these people in their lives.


Finding Balance with what You are Given

Every time I see these smooth, dark river stones stacked in an effortless way, I wonder……who has such a smooth life that balance is represented with those stones??? If my life’s balance was to be represented, it would look more like the photo above!!!

A tall column with ins and outs, a flat piece of wood taken from the base of a fir somewhere, a pinecone and a twig. Strange combination, I know, but I feel it reflects balance much better for me. Life is not always smooth, we must find balance in what we are given.

At this stage of our lives, we crave balance. All the hectic past is behind us. Our children are grown, our spouses or partner are retired, our parents are no longer with us, the grandchildren have not arrived or live far away. We must dedicate time and effort to ourselves, our lives, our balance.

It is the time, finally, to be good to ourselves first. For that we must work with what we are given. Not everyone will have what they want or what they dreamed of. Things sometimes do not to turn out the way we planned. Do not despair, it is alright, we can do this.

We must gather what we are given at this stage. Ideally, we have already implemented changes not only in ourselves, but in our surroundings. We are liberated from all that was holding us back and our homes have been decluttered and downsized. What is left if we cannot control…that is what we are given.

Most of you probably asked about this. What is what we cannot control? Each and every one of us has our share. Be either a parent we have to take care of, children that still need our help, an illness we are struggling with. Embrace those too so you can find your balance, albeit with rough edges, but find it you must.

So when we look at our life now, let’s gather our pieces, breathe deeply and work them into the balance we are craving!!!

Wedding Planning should not be done alone!!!

After months of back and forth messaging, emailing, saving ideas in Pinterest, trips to Curaçao and Grand Cayman and untold stressful days and nights……I have finally slid into Wedding Planning Mode, and feel great about it.

The truth is that planning any event is not for everyone and that is why there are experts to help us. Some of us can do it because they can see the whole picture and then work out the details, unfortunately, most of us cannot do either…..see the whole picture or work out the details, that is. The sooner you give in and accept this reality, the sooner all will fall into place and you will sleep easier.

The selection of a Wedding Planner is the turning point. Yes, the person that can keep all the details of your daily ramblings and organize them into coherent plans. The person who can listen to all your ideas and put them together into a beautiful package, the person that can become indispensable. For me and to make sure all is fine: one in Miami and one in Curaçao!!!

Once that decision is made, all the planning you thought you were doing just takes a solid form. You see your ideas come together, you can make changes and feel fine about it. Now there is nothing too out-there, every one of your ideas can be worked into reality…or not. That is the beauty of working with someone who can understand what it takes to make dreams come true. Amazing!!

This is a most wonderful time in your daughter’s and, consequently, in your life. So be open with each other, get everything out and discuss all. There will be times when you do not see eye-to-eye. That is fine, it’s in those moments when you will find how strong the bond that binds you is.

Be prepared for arguments,  for tears and for times when you want to just forget the whole thing. It’s fine, trust me. All will come together and it will be like a book you have written or a script you turned into a magnificent film. When the day finally comes, everything will be worth it!!!


Photo: Dreamstime Public Domain

Working on It…..with Grey Attitude!!!

It’s the start of the weekend and, at least for me, it has brought something new and fabulous. I am finally working on the revamp of my website and of my Facebook page. Life presents you with opportunities to grow, to expand your horizons. We must accept and  act on those challenges. Enjoy them and turn them into changes that will make our lives more interesting and fulfilled. 
Indeed, this one is big for me. I am absolutely tech/challenged, everything I do takes time and effort, but it is so rewarding. I am far from finished with the changes, but then if we get everything on our first try, what do we have to look forward to???
Feel free to let me know what do you think. Come along with me on this new journey, all I can promise is that there will be laughs and we will continue learning…..

Time for Change, Time for a New Name

It has been almost  5 years since I started this adventure. What a great ride and what an experience it has been!!! For those of you who have followed my journey, I have much to thank you for. You have been here, have read, commented and encouraged. You have made this so much easier and enjoyable. Thank you!!!

As everything we do, it comes the time to change again because of what we have learned. I started this blog to look into my life and see what needed tossing and what was new that needed listening, acceptance and embracing. It’s been interesting to say the least.

I have found that many things needed tossing, but I also found to my surprise that many others needed keeping!!! Isn’t that always the case??? Then there are so many others that needed listening to and explore…..not necessarily keeping. I am so glad I have now a better idea of what I am dealing with and the time has come to change the name of this blog.

Change is good, that is front and center, undeniable and necessary. Getting stuck in the past, holding on to ideas and attitudes that have not helped us so far is very unhealthy. It doesn’t make any sense!!!

I will keep you posted on this. Here is to new beginnings, new name and new attitudes!!!

  • Photo credit: Traviswolfe/ ID-84836063

Lessons Learned and Hospital Rules

I am back home. My trip was amazing and difficult. So glad I went and even gladder of all that we accomplished. That would be for another time, this is about what I learned while visiting. I am sure it will help others in the same circumstances, so I am sharing.

Hospitals, as we all know, are not the friendliest of places. They can be intimidating, scary, cold, detached in some ways. There are a lot of rules to follow. There are even rules made up along the way when someone is there for an extended period.

For everyone that has experience this, rules can help us and drive us crazy. We just need to decide what we take from them, how we can obey them and how we can tweak them a bit. Its only human nature, especially if we have someone dear to us in the hospital.

I spent almost all my waking hours for a week at the hospital with my friend. It was in more ways than one a bonding experience as I have seldom experienced. That is why, I feel I most share these observations.

First are visiting hours. How many people should be allowed in one room? How to control the level of noise? can visitors bring treats and share them? We came to visit, shared treats, laughs and tears. More than once, we were told to keep it quiet, but were not told to leave. At one point visits were restricted, but not completely forbidden.

Second, when doctors and nurses come in to see the patient…. who should be there? who has the right to know what is said and what is being done? Certain times are definitely private, there are moments the patient must be alone with the doctors and ask questions. Other times personal needs need to be attended to and privacy is most important. Still, at the end of the day, some patients will like a trusted friend or family member present when confronting the doctor with questions the answers of which they are no sure they want to hear.

Third, privacy is so important and relates to the above. It is controversial, I know, but not every patient needs complete isolation especially if visitors can bring much needed distraction, joy and that bond between friends and family that can be so helpful.

Fourth, how much is the patient told? Is it necessary to inform the patient of everything? would that affect the patient’s outlook or help in making decisions? Some patients want to ask the questions and stop when they feel they already know too much. Others just feel better knowing everything and making plans accordingly. Either way, the patient should decide, nobody else…not even the family or the doctor.

I know these rules are strictly enforced here in the States, but I found they are not so in other countries. I found the relaxation of the rules very helpful in this case. I cannot say if this would benefit everyone. So I guess I am open about them.

At the moment, all I have to say is that being flexible can mean so much to the patient….and isn’t that the ultimate goal? To have the patient relaxed, at peace, surrounded by people that truly love them? I am sure there will be many opinions about this, but all I am expressing is what I learned in my case. It made the whole experience with my friend so human, so wonderful.

She is now out of the hospital and even thought the diagnosis hasn’t changed, her body seems to have a will of its own. For that, we are more than grateful!!!

  • Photo Credits: 1- Nice Monkey – ID135548  
  • 2- Michal Wrozek – ID1488524