Wedding Planning continues…..

Things are coming together. I can feel the parts of this puzzle moving and adjusting. It is really looking very cohesive. Slowly, everything is falling into place. Have to say, I have had my moments of doubt and my moments of great stress. Restless nights and busy days trying to accommodate everything that needs doing into my schedule.

Fortunately my daughter and her fiancé are very much involved and have taken a lot upon themselves. After all, it’s their wedding, their moment. They know what they want and how to get it. I am here to help, but not to decide. I hope that we are all still close when all is said and done!!! Just kidding, but with hint of truth.

My friends, who have gone through this process, keep reminding me that all will be fine. Just breathe and relax, they tell me, the day will come and everything will be gorgeous. I know it will be, it’s the getting there that tends to be a bit rocky.

We certainly need instructions on how to handle these days. We need a how to book, a manual on how to talk to each other, how to make decisions without arguing and how to remember this is just the process, not the end result. I do not know if the book has been written, but I am absolutely sure it’s a great idea.

In the emotion of the moment, in the planning for the perfect wedding there is something that gets lost. It happens with every wedding. We forget that this is an event, a celebration, a coming together. This is not the final destination of this relationship. This is just the beginning, we are celebrating the start of the journey. It is so important to keep that in mind at all times.

Again, I am listening to friends and family who have planned weddings. They all agree that everything turned more relaxed, more fun when they realized this simple fact. One told me that we must remember the wedding is the send-off, we must make it happy and enjoyable and we must make sure we are not looking at the event instead of looking at the road ahead. I liked that.

In the meantime, I am keeping notes in a special notebook. It helps me stay grounded and lets me see how far we have come. It also keeps me sane when I feel there is too much on my plate. This might be the basis for that realistic how to book I am sure we all need to help us navigate the process with ease and grace. Or maybe it would just serve for me to read it back later on and remember with fondness this wonderful time.

Looking forward to more planning because this is such a special moment in our lives. Here it is to giving Camille and Oliver the wedding of their dreams!!!

 

Photo: Dreamstime.com

Respect Yourself First

 

Nowadays, in the middle of the negativity and the fake news, the insults, name calling and other non pleasantries we hear a constant call for loving each other. Love is promoted as the way to end all this. Somehow, it is believed that love will conquer all and things would be salvaged if we just understand this simple premise.

I am afraid I do not agree with this idea. Love is great, is all encompassing and can save us….but loving is not something we can call into existence at the drop of a hat. Sorry, if I sound too cavalier or too mercenary, whichever term you use. Loving is an emotion, a feeling, a wonderful thing that either happens or not.

Now, respect, that I can understand. According to the dictionary its meaning is as follows:  Definition of Respect. You can actually learned to respect, sounds just the thing. To come to this realization is one of the great inspirations as we grow older.

Now, learning to respect, as everything else in life, should start at home. It is a simple premise: learn to respect yourself first and then respecting others will come easy. As the years go by, more and more we’ve gained a healthy selfrespect. It is a feeling that well surpasses the idea of just loving oneself.

How to achieve this desired state? We must not complicate our lives on purpose, so follow simple steps, arrive at certain simple decisions that will make a difference in our lives, basically that is it: go simple.

We must start with taking care of our bodies. It’s the only one we have and must last all of our lives. Treat it well and keep it healthy. If we do, it will serve us well and help us enjoy life more. This is the most basic, solid way of respect.

Never aspire to normalcy, because, after all…what is normal? Be yourself, a bit sassy or flamboyant or even weird if that is who you truly are. There is no reason for being anything else, but yourself. “There is no one alive who is youer than you” Dr. Seuss.

Be honest with yourself. Sometimes the truth hurts, but we need to accept that. It will build your self-confidence. It is always better to know where we stand. Having the wrong self image will never help with respect. “Honesty is such a lonely word…” Billy Joel.

Accept your shortcomings. It is the only way to deal with them. Same with any situations you find yourself in: accept and deal with them. You are who you are, so learn to forgive yourself and move on. Never, never  compare yourself to others.

Be prepared to take a stand for your beliefs, regardless of their popularity. Life is not a popularity contest, never mind what people think. Learn to say NO, have boundaries  and learn to protect them. “Find a place to make your stand and take it easy” The Eagles. You do not owe anything to anyone.

Accept your mistakes. We all make them. Apologize when you are wrong or when you have hurt someone. More importantly, do it without offering excuses. Once you go that route, you lost your ground and your apology is void.

There a so many people we need to deal with on a daily basis, if we respect ourselves, we will respect others…….and who knows we might learn to love them too.

 

 

Own photo: steps at Fort Nassau on a warm evening in October.

Be a Maker

On my way around blogs and sites I follow, there has been a constant theme this week: Make. From letting us know it’s time to think about ourselves and make something of the time we are now living in to just plain make something everyday, whatever that may be. Have to say it has caught my attention.

I am planning my daughter’s wedding, so I have plenty to do most days. Somehow, it is just not that. This is about making something, actually doing it: from small things like a cup of tea to big things like finishing that project you started a week ago. It is getting up every day and just make!!!

So here is the deal, we are at time in life when we do have time in our hands, to be redundant…. most of us are retired or working less hours. Simply going about our day, will present us with the opportunities to make. We must grab them and run with them. In that spirit, I have decided to become a maker.

Starting slowly….make breakfast in the morning, take your time and enjoy what you are doing. Do not rush the process, savor it. Make your cup of coffee or tea. Make something to eat to go with it. Set the table and make yourself sit down. Embrace the making of this special moment.

Make your bed, make a flower arrangement, make a great meal, make haste, make a disturbance, make verses……that is making too!!! To make has so many connotations. It means: to create, to form, to act, to cause to happen, to enact, to form, to shape, to cause to be, to shape, to set or name, to behave, to fit, to intend to hold in your mind. What a fabulous word!!!

Along the day, we find so many things to make, everyday. Make a special trip to visit someone, make a difference by donating, volunteering, engaging someone. Make sure you smile when meeting somebody, make time to get in touch with loved ones. Make plans for your next vacation and make sure you execute them. Make someone happy by remembering their birthday, make new friends, the possibilities are endless.

This is not rocket science, not a difficult task that will complicate your life. It is understood that we are now able to do what we want, what we like, what we love. Why not become a maker, then??? and make our lives so much interesting, exciting, fruitful and happy. Be a maker!!!