Don’t Ignore the Small Things!!!

Getting to a certain age gives us a new perspective in life. Having lived more years than some of us want to admit, we look at everything through the eyes of experience. Others will say, we are just rediscovering everything, so we should behave accordingly. I have to agree with this.

Stop sometimes and look at children playing. Anything holds fascination, everything makes them laugh and nothing goes unnoticed. They go about the business of living with bright eyes and open hearts. I firmly believe we go back to this, but refuse to acknowledge the fact. Most of us think it is silly, for sure we should be serious and dignified……whatever that means. Well, I refuse to do that, not anymore.

Very few of my friends and family know I suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis. Contrary to what the name implies, arthritis is the least of our problems, even if it is the most painful. This is an autoimmune disease that affects your whole body in many ways. I will not go into details, RA is not who I am, but you can read about it HERE.

As I have learned to cope and accept this new reality in my life, I have decided to be aware of every little pleasure that comes my way. I am taking time to stop and enjoy what makes me happy and what brings me joy. I have stopped getting involved in arguments and have stopped trying to change anyone’s mind on anything. I still have strong opinions about a lot of things, but I have decided I am not going to change anyone’s mind. So why argue?What I can do is nurture the other things I have in common with people I care for and love.

First of all, I am grateful for all I have and for the people in my life. I keep in touch with friends and family, even if they are some times too busy with their lives to reach back out to me. I avoid anyone with a negative outlook or a grudge, even if I truly care for them. There is no need to get into discussions about things we cannot change, not in the near future. Arguments only bring bad feelings and who needs that.

I go out and look around in wonder, I laugh any chance I get, I tend my orchids and rejoice in the fact that I am able to get them flowering. I take walks, I enjoy my family and spend as much time as I can with them. I am reading every book I get my hands on, I am decluttering my home until I have only what gives me pleasure and makes me comfortable. I have even started to enjoy shopping!!! I try to find ways of helping others, be it donating to charities or keeping in touch with people I know are lonely. Life is not easy for many, trying to help, helps me.

Nowadays, I watch less television, read less news, smile at strangers and love it when they smile back. I give myself a break or a nap when needed. There are some difficult things I’ve still to overcome: stop before I am going to snap at someone, try being considerate and non judgmental, ignore rude comments made by people close to me, feeling I have the right to correct someone…….It is a work in progress!!!

As I often say, we have more years behind us than in front, I have no intentions of squandering the small things that bring me joy. I try, not always successful I must admit, not to get involved in other people’s lives, not to care about what others do or have. Each one of us will do and say living our lives as we feel. The only thing I would say is: give this a try!!!

P.S. The inquisitive toddler is Anaaira, my friend Seema’s adorable granddaughter. Thank you for letting me use her picture!!! The other photos are mine: a cobbled  sidewalk in the Grove, the view from my balcony, a small brook at Fairchild Botanical Gardens and my orchids in bloom.


 

Lessons Learned Led to Downsizing

For years I have been de-cluttering: donating, selling and throwing away. It has been a never-ending story. Still, things seem to reproduce in my home. I have to say, it’s discouraging, so I have finally decided to end this once and for all. I am downsizing!!!

Of course, this would seem similar. Isn’t it the same thing? I ask myself….well, not really. I have neglected to make some big decisions and it is time to correct that. So I have made a list of things that need doing.

First: asking my children to take their things and dispose of them. Take boxes out of my storage space and send them somewhere else, somewhere where they cannot come back. Could it be that simple?

Do not know for certain, but I have started. My son moved to Houston a couple of months back. With everything he was taking there, I managed to send some boxes that have been in my possession for more than 10 years. There could have been more, but I discovered that later. Still, it felt wonderful!!!

This week I plan to spend some time looking through boxes again, making sure I find those which escaped me last time. I am sure a couple of more will be on their way to Houston soon. 

While down there, I will make sure that boxes belonging to my daughter will be found. She needs to go through them and decide what she wants to keep and what she wants to get rid of. Going back into my storage is not a choice. These are their things and they should do with them as they see fit.

Second: being ruthless, concentrating on what I want to achieve instead of getting lost in the memories and the sentimental value of my stuff. This has been the hardest lesson to learn. To work through it, I do not dwell on it. I make decisions on the spot and carry them out right away.

Boxes are open and I follow simple rules. If I haven’t seen in years, I already learned to live without it. There are plenty of charities that would take them. If not,  throw them away. If there are papers older than 5 years, shred them. Clothes, shoes and accessories, handbags and hats. Do I really need that much? Donating is the best way to get rid of most of them. More space in my closet and drawers is a great reward.

Third: organizing what to sell is important. Why not make some cash out of this exercise? This has been tricky. We live in an apartment building……garage sales are not allow. Fortunately, there is always a friend with a home who does not shy away from helping you with that. Hopefully I think I have found mine.

Separating these items, then be ready to price them without getting involved with the way you feel about them. Be realistic when it comes to what you think they are worth and what they are really worth!!! This is another lesson that has taken some time to learn. Being objective is not always easy, it helps to put myself in someone else’s shoes. How much would I pay for this, if I was buying at a yard sale? Still working on it.

Fourth: books, CDs, DVDs, even vinyl records and VHS tapes is more exasperating than others things you want to get rid of. Books are slowly going out of style, no matter how I feel about that. There are too many books, apparently, and no more are needed. Finding places that would take your books and give you credits to get different ones has been relatively easy……but that is not my goal. I wanted to just get rid of them. Making sure I separate the ones I would keep because I love them and would read them gain. Donating to public libraries, school libraries, nursing homes, hospitals…..they are still accepting books!!! Will try to sell the others.

In these days when we can stream anything on you computer or television…..who would want these relics of the past? Well, I found out that there are places that buy CDs, DVDs, VHS tapes and even vinyl records, but not everything. They require you to go to them, they inspect what you bring and then pick and choose what they want. Do not expect to get too much. What is left, I am keeping  for your garage or yard sale…and hope for the best.

Fifth: big pieces such as furniture and appliances are difficult to get rid of. Especially if you do not have a vehicle to transport them. Getting any charity to pick up these items is easier said than done. We waited for weeks to get the Salvation Army to pick up some pieces of furniture from our son’s apartment. When they finally came, everything was inspected and a few things were rejected. Thankfully we had a Plan B……because you cannot just put them out on the sidewalk. City Ordinances say you must pay a fine and still end up disposing of the items yourself.

Once I have completed all these steps, I will have just what I want, need and find beautiful. I will have space in my home to make it feel bigger and more spacious than it is. Hopefully, I will also be reluctant to buy anything to replace what  I sold or gave away. This looks more promising that just de-cluttering.